Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Its Dangerous for Indians to get back to India after living in western countries...(as if its not dangerous enough for indians as it is!!)

I was just wondering about the differences that have grown in my behavior out of living in Barcelona for the past some months. I am sure this is the same things that anybody living in western countries would have noticed many years before, but then its new to me!! I remember that when I was working for Infy in Bangalore, me being a biking (motorcycle – not just cycle) enthusiast I decided to bike to Chennai from Bangalore for Diwali. This was a dangerous thing to do – Indian roads are dangerous for bikes as it is and this would involve me biking a distance of around 400 km through highways. But then, there are good tings to be said for being young and foolish…so I went ahead with the plan. I posted an ad in the Bulletin Board of Infy asking if anybody was interested in joining me in this wild trip. I got one interested response. This guy was a Manager whose wife had just delivered a baby in Chennai and he wanted to go to Chennai to see her. Remember, being a manager, he was able to afford to fly to Chennai – leave alone go by train, and he wanted to come by bike with me!! I asked him this, and he said he already had 2 confirmed train tickets to Chennai – but wanted to experience the biking trip and it seems his wife also suggested that he do it (I remember telling him I would want to get a wife like her when I got married!!). I’ve always had this ability to attract crazy people to me. hahaha!!!.

Anyway, we did make that trip together….he came with me on one leg and I made the return leg alone – and I made out alive! But during that trip, I remember that he requested me to let him drive – and I let him. He frightened my ass off. We were driving at an average speed of 80-100 kmph on basic 2 lane highways and we would encounter small villages on the road. There would be dogs and sometimes people sitting on the road. Instead of honking to chase them away, he would just brake. And braking on bikes at high speed is not an experience to recommend. He just wouldn’t touch the freaking horn at all. After 30 mins of this, I gently requested him to give me back the bike. I was thinking. What’s this guy? Mad or something?

Because in India, the norm is that we honk generously – sometimes to scare away people or dogs, to prod slow drivers or sometimes just show off our nice new expensive horns.
We hate queues and gather like bees whenever more than 3 people are supposed to share a single thing – like at a bus stop / railway station / at a crowded shop.
We talk loudly and if someone complains about our ruckus, we call that person rude!!
We expect the employees at a supermarket or a mall to cater to our every whim and stay late after closing hours if we are still in a mind to shop!!
We cross the street whenever we want – where ever we want to…..and we expect the vehicles on the road to stop for us -where we cross.
When we drive, we expect the unexpected pedestrians on the road, the dogs, cows and sometimes elephants to share the valuable road real estate with us. We don’t mind.
Who ever has power, rules!! And this applies to everything. Life is interesting…..and unpredictable.
We’re Indians!!
And we love India – warts and all!!

India requires people (and animals) staying within her to be aggressive if they want anything. Everything in the world is laid bare for the taking – but u will have to take the effort to grab it.
U have to compete for everything. Being nice is not usually an option – as there are nice people in India – only winners and losers. If ur nice, that doesn’t make u a winner!!
Ur mind has to be sharp enough to adapt to varying external circumstances…..and should never take ‘anything’ for granted.
Daily life is Exciting!!

My stay in Europe has blunted my edge.
I have started waiting in lines wherever there is a bunch of people – virtually everywhere!!
I am very nice to people and give way whenever possible – with a smile!
Cross roads only at zebra crossings and even then, wait for the signal to cross. Duh!!
Cross a one way street on foot – without looking both sides for oncoming traffic (This one is enough to get me killed within a week in India)
I try to talk softly and not make noise – act subdued most of the time.
Smile at unknown people I meet on the road or in the lift. If they also smile, say hi (Hola!) and when getting out of the lift, say Goodbye (Adios).
Be nice to everybody – including janitors, receptionists (I was already nice to pretty girls anyway), cleaners, drivers, etc…etc…in fact in here, u do not judge people by their job. U respect everybody!
Don’t litter / spit / piss anywhere u like……

In effect, be a nice person…..with everybody.

This is bad news…..if I am here for too long, then I would pretty soon become unsuitable to living in India.
How will I survive when I get back?
I’m terrified….I have to do something to protect my edge from the corrosive effects of this culture!!
Anybody have any bright ideas??